Category: Hilarious

Bitch please, my straightener is hotter then you, and it’s off..

February 9th, 2012 Kurt

Bitch please, my straightener is hotter then you, and it’s off..

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Apparently, it seems not everyone gets my sense of humor … like the cop who pulled me over today, to whom I replied, “Look officer, the drugs & bloody gun in my glove compartment aren’t mine, & I don’t know anything about the dead body in my trunk” … who replied back, “Get your hands in the Air! Get out of the car! Get on the ground! ” Obviously he can’t take a joke. Someone please come bail me out of jail!

December 15th, 2011 Betty
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I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 Years

December 14th, 2011 FunnyStatuses
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Ok Mario you can hit bricks with your head right? Then why do you die when you touch a turtle WTF! -.-

December 12th, 2011 Eleanor
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Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a hooker for a hug.

December 8th, 2011 Betty
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People say that things happen for a reason. So remember when i hit you upside the head it was for a reason.

December 7th, 2011 Betty
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You can come on Facebook & write on people’s walls here & they are fine with it … but no, if you go to their house & start writing on their walls there they totally get mad & call the cops on you! Um, can someone PLEASE come bail me out of jail?

December 6th, 2011 Numbers
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A LOT of folks have been asking me how I’ve managed to lose & keep off all the weight that I’ve been shedding lately. It’s what I like to call “The Obama Debt Diet” … you only eat when you can afford it !!!

December 6th, 2011 Pisani
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No matter what your Chinese symbol tattoo says, I’m going to assume the translation is: “Please think I’m cool.

November 25th, 2011 Bailey
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*After slipping*, I did not fall. I attacked the ground!

November 24th, 2011 ebizsol
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