Tag Archives: facebook status

thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”

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dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)

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Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn’t remind them!

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Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn’t tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. #FML

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My fake plants died because I didn’t pretend to water them

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happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.

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We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .

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All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault. too cool for school.

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I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!

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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

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