Tag Archives: hilarious status updates

Apparently, it seems not everyone gets my sense of humor … like the cop who pulled me over today, to whom I replied, “Look officer, the drugs & bloody gun in my glove compartment aren’t mine, & I don’t know anything about the dead body in my trunk” … who replied back, “Get your hands in the Air! Get out of the car! Get on the ground! ” Obviously he can’t take a joke. Someone please come bail me out of jail!

December 15th, 2011 Betty
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they say you should pay taxes with a smile, I tried……. but they wanted cash.

December 14th, 2011 Betty
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A LOT of folks have been asking me how I’ve managed to lose & keep off all the weight that I’ve been shedding lately. It’s what I like to call “The Obama Debt Diet” … you only eat when you can afford it !!!

December 6th, 2011 Pisani
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Cops came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, i told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike!

November 14th, 2011 Breckenridge
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I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next”.

November 14th, 2011 Cindy
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I’m awesome!! End of story

November 4th, 2011 Cindy
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There there, its ok. not everyone can be as awesome as me XD

October 27th, 2011 Caudill
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Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret. I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.

October 7th, 2011 Raynor
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You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.

October 6th, 2011 Randal
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